Fetch Mug, Get A Stick

Personal notes to accompany sticks from the Mug Dawg, written by me

If u sqwint rlly hard, thiz stik looks lyke a bone, and bones r awesome. No marrow in der tho, I cheked.

Dis stik always points north. As long as u point it north.

Dis stik was a part of the civil war. It dint du anything, but it waz ther 

How much cood dis stik stik stik if dis stik cood stik stik?

I bit the hanler whin he try to take dis stik from me. U bettr put it to gud use

Dey say if u luv somting let it go and it’ll com back. I luv’d dis stik so dat BETTER b true 

Dis cood be a gymnast. It alwayz stiks the landing.

Hoomans hav de powa to make stiks disappear. If u figur it out with dis stik plz tell me how

If youz laff, cry, and find stik, that iz a full day. I found dis stik, I laffed wen dey said dey were taking it from me, and I cryed wen dey did. 

The seceret to de univarze iz oh my gawd ders anoder stik ova der, hod on dis can wait 

Giv a dog a stik and he be happy fur a day. Teech a dog to cach stik and he nevr come back home. Unles you send peepol his stik like dis one and he hav to go get anotha.

3 monfs salary izn’t in de cardz rite now. But I fink dis will fit on ur fingr if we tie it gud

U mis one hundrid persent of de stiks u dont chase.

Confucious say, one hoo hav stik never hav itchy back. Enjoy ur new lyfe wit dis stik.

I waz gentel wid diz stik, az u can see wit da lack of byte marks

1 stik 2 stik red stik bloo stik. Well dis is akchewly defenetlee 1 stik. An defenetlee brown. Or maibee yellow. I cant see color.

Fow scowe and sevven yeaws ago, some1 brot fowth, upon diz continent, diz awsome stik.

Diz stik don’t do notting but sit der. Reeminz me of my ex.

Hoo iz de guiz dat dizzkova stiks. Are kee owl o jists? I lyke doze guiz. Respektabowl carear paff.If I find more stik like dis maybee I can be one one day.

Mayke shore u engayge yor kayninez wen careeying diz stik oar it wil foll out. Lerned dat da hard way. 

Wat iz the dif frence betwean stik and soord? Dis stik don’t hurt mi mouf wen I careey it.

Imageen de movee rain man but wit stik. Stik man. Dis stik cood be the star actor.

Diz right hear iz a SILF – a Stik Ide Lyke to fetch. 

Sturr yor root beer wit diz stik four an xtra earthee flaver.

Dey say wen u hav a life frettening event ur lyfe flashis b4 yor I’z. But wen I loss dis stik, all I saw waz sadnes.

Diz stik iz a boomirayng. Az long az u have hooman to go pikk it up an bring it bak.

Diz iz a veagen, organick, glooten free stik. U can choo on it all u wan and no tummy ake.

Dey say monee don’t groo on treez. But stiks like dis do. Evin better.

Diz stik haz been thru da rain, da mud, and da sunshine. And now itz on yor insagwam storee. Wat a lyfe. 

Won time I herd dat some1 livved in da stiks. Wher is dat. I wana go. Maybee more stiks like dis der.

To fetch or not to fetch, dat iz da question. And da answer iz always yes, as evedenced by dis stik.

As dat one old gween dood wit da big ears wonce said: may de force of dis stik be wid u.

What happen in da park, stais in da park... excep for dis stik, it wen home wit me.

When lyfe gives u lemmins, go find a stik. Lemmins tayste bad. Dis stik taste good

Use dis to stik it to da man. da man neva once play fetch wit u. 

Keep yer fwends close, and yer stiks closer. Keep dis stik espeshally close, it was my favorete.

Git one moar of deez and u cood be a drummer. Or da gui dat helps land da airplanez. Or maybee a conducta. The possibiliteez are endles. 

Say hello to my little fwend. Pomeranian wood think diz is a big fwend. Ha! I iz bigga den dem. 

Dis stik will self-destruct in five secconds... unless u mail it bak to me (pls, I miss her)

We need a mooseum for stiks like dis. Da stiksonian. I can pickture it now.

Dis stik is rock solid. I tink it haz been working out. 

Lyfe is like a box of chokolates. Iz always trying to kill u. Das y I just play wit dis stik instead.

I waz gonna go pro in fetch. But den I tore my acl. Dis da last stik I eva fetched. 

Dis stik is worf more dan da dolla. Ders lyke so manney of dose. Only 1 of deez.

If you say mug out loud three times dis stik will turn into the most beayoutifol thing yoove ever seen. Notheeng will change becuz it is already beayoutifol.

Dis stik was used to direct the simphonee orcestra. Not reely but hoo is gonna fact chek a dog?

Bring dis stik to yor spechal some1 dat u have a crush on. Dey will let u play fite wit dem for shore. Works everee time.

Dis stik is smarter dan my owner. Becuz it dozen’t put me in a room with root beer and xpect der to be any left.

If u hold on to dis stik until next Halloween u can be a witch. Or a wizard. Or a stik-bearing root beer lovr. Super famis costume.

I try to play spin da stik with my crush wit dis. But wen stik land on her, she said “woof”. 

U can hav it. 

If u bring dis stik to burning man u can prollaby make friends with some real idyits

One time da docta use dis stik to see if I was sik. Turns out I just draynk too much root beer. 

Dis de best stik ther ever waz. Except mozzerela stik. Or fish stik. Or de stik on a corn dawg

Dis stik is stronger den my fourth marrage.

I thot this stik was a snake. Scared de poop out of me. I nead to stop eeting random mushrums.

I took dis stik to de silent movees wit me. It new all da words 

Dis is anchent insense. Burn it in yor hause to make de room smeel like stik.

Dis stik is tooned to a B Major. As In u wood B a major loozer if u throw dis stik away.

Day say to speek softlee and carrey big stik. I prefer to carry small stik like dis and bark until de neybors get mad.

With big stik comez big responsebelity. U are aboit to be so dang responseeble.

Shee sad it was her or de stik. Gud thing she wached me pack up an ship away dis decoy stik. 

If u dip dis stik in ink u can rite a letter to ur local kongresmin to tell dem to make treets bigger. Shreenkflashun is da worst.

A wich tryed to steel dis stik frum me. Sumething abowt waning to turn it into a bruum. Wat dus she need to sweep so badlee?

Dis stik is not a veree gud kisser but it relee nose how to git beef jerkee owt frum betwean my teef. 

Dis stik is way skineer than thee las time I saw it. I think it may bee on Ozemstik.

Dis stik lykes long waks on de beech. An chaseeng affer bunees. An getting bellee rubs. Maybee I am just projecteeng but stik is der for it awl.

Dis stik may not bee a new car. Or that rayse yoove been wayting for. Or dat one girl dawg at de park who smell reely reely gud telling u she luvz u. But dis stik kan mayke u happee if u let it. =

Dis stik haz a reelee good cents of stile. All brown. Nootral palet. Erthy tones. Sustaynabowl mateerials. Tayke notez.

Wat do you theenk dis stik waz for hawllowien last yeer? Maybee a cinnamin. Or a litesaber. Or A skee powl. The posibilateez are endliss.